The Great Furry Conspiracy

January 25th, 2008

My internets have been all wonky.  This sucks.  Cable stuff costs too much to not work right.

So I wait about a week to see if the tubes will magically fix themselves, and they don’t.  This is mostly because I hate calling Comcast.  HATE.

I’m not sure if I wrote about the last time I called them and got into a raging phone battle over what I’ve decided to call the Comcast Retard Tax, where they’re not sure if I’m so dum I might have the cable man come out because my TV is unplugged.  But yeah, that happened.

This is what happened this time.  The phone guy was nice, tho.  For once.  I should go down to the Wawa and buy me a lottery scratcher, cause that’s some kind of crazy luck.  Because mostly they are dicks.  But anyway–

Me:  Hi.  The internets are broke.  Cause they go on and off over and over.  And it is the suxxor, thnx.

Guy:  *Testing stuff over the phone*

Me: I think it’s the modem, cause the TV is working fine.

Guy:  Well, it’s testing in the RED ZONE OMG!!!  Let my use my leet skillz to reboot it.

Me: Kay

Guy:  Ok, it’s still not working.  I’ll send a guy, cause it could be the lines.

Me:  But the TV?  Is working?

Guy: Oh, well, you know– Squirrels could have chewed on them on the higher frequencies.  That would only affect the interwebs.

Me:  *wtf squirrels?*  Ok.  It’s 18 degrees, but yeah, sure.  Send the squirrel police.

And then the man came and gave me a new modem.  No squirrels were arrested or implicated in any way.

-Ali

One Response to “The Great Furry Conspiracy”

  1. Alita Says:

    Oh the cable company… This made me laugh while I should be working. I had a similar experience the other day. Actually it was entirely different and didn’t involve my internets not working or squirrels, however it did involve talking to customer service for timewarner cable.

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