Sugar and Spite

Ok, seriously you guys. I can’t believe how many times I’ve discussed zombie pooping since it originally came up. So I am going to set out my argument here, and then I will just direct people to this entry. And I won’t have to discuss the poops of the undead anymore.

Basically, my view is this– pooping is a living process. No life = no poop. I think that if zombies go on long enough, that they will just decay to pieces. Given that they don’t encounter a bullet to the head, your normal undead zombie will eventually crumble (or ooze, whatever) into bits. Probably chunky bits. So when people say (and EVERYONE says this)– what about all the brains? If they’re eating brains, they must poop them out at some point.

But I disagree. All the brains and whatnot that a zombie eats just kind hangs out inside, accelerating the decay process from within.

This is, of course, using the idea of true undead zombies. If you have the new infected zombies from 28 Days Later, who are still people (sort of) but are infected with some sort of zombie-like virus? Those guys probably poop a whole bunch.

And that’s it. No more zombie poop. No more vampire pee. Also, I will bow to the superior opinion of the D&D Monster Manual. If they poop in D&D, then I will accept defeat.

Probably the zombies also poop when confronted by Ted Nugent (the NUGE!), Zombie Hunter. Cause the idea of the NUGE! aiming for your eyeball with a crossbow is enough to make anyone crap their pants.

What, you didn’t know that Ted Nugent (the NUGE!) hunts zombies? Dude. Where have you been? He’s good at it too. Seen any zombies lately?

EXACTLY.

-Ali

This entry was posted on Tuesday, June 26th, 2007 at 9:35 pm and is filed under Blog. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.